Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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