there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
