i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
