how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
