and you said cock pushups were impossible
and she was petting her beer can
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
