She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I am one with the molecules
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
