So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Boobs are out for the taking
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
