Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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