It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
