So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
