Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I cannot find my penis.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
he fucked my hip out of place.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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