Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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