After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
