dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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