Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
