She is in my trunk
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
