I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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