its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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