I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
