sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
