Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Randomize
