The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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