quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
