If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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