Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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