he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I need water and some morals
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
