No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
