i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
We had sex on a dog bed..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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