Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I love you. Go after that dick
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
