Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
