I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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