Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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