awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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