I must be too annoying 4 u.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dignity is for republicans.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
