I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
