Have you finally orgasmed yet?
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
