Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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