you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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