like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
