He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
