Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
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