How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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