if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
