i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
