I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
