If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
try to milk me bitch
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
