I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
