TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
