question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
