I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
