Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
